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You: I found you John
Stranger: I thought you didn't know about this place.
You: Where ever there is apple pie your're bound to be there.
Stranger: It's the best in town.
You: What about my apple pie, John!? I cook for you ever day and I always catch you sneaking out to Joey's for their pie/
You: Do you think its easy being a say at home wife?
You: stay
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Considering you manage to watch your soaps everyday.
Stranger: And Rachel Ray and Oprah.
You: Atleast I am not off on a "business trip" and secretly fucking the mail lady.
You: Thats right, I know all about it.
Stranger: Oh, get over it. You masturbate with your vibrator every night looking at pictures of Antonio Banderas and refuse to even touch me.
Stranger: What do you expect?
You: How can I after that slut has been crawling all over you! You never take me out anymore, John.
Stranger: You said you're sick of apple pie. I can't help it I have food allergies and it's one of the few items that doesn't kill me.
You: That apple pie is another reason I cant touch you, lets face it John, you're not in the best shape of your life. You just let yourself go after the honeymoon.
Stranger: Fuck you, Bill.
You: No, fuck you John! If it wasn't for that bitch of a mother you have harping me about how I run our relationship we wouldn't be having these problems right now!
Stranger: I love you, Bill.
Stranger: Don't be mad at me.
Stranger: i just want to make us work.
You: Oh John.. Shut up and kiss me.
Stranger: :-* That's what I wanted all along.
You: Lets empty our bank account and run away to Hawaii, we'll never have to deal with your mother's sugar free jello again
Stranger: PLEASE.
You: Oh you don't know how long I've wanted to ask you that John
You: I just hope there isn't any slutty mail ladys in Hawaii!!
Stranger: There won't be. Not anymore.
You: John, I have something to tell you.. I can't lie anymore..
You: I.. I fucked your brother..
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK BILL.
Stranger: I'll kill him
You: Don't John! He's your brother! It was only one time I was drunk and he looked like you, the only difference was he knew how to treat me and didn't avoid my eyes when we made love.
Stranger: He's dead.
Stranger: I know how to treat you god dammit.
You: Don't get me started on you with stacy the mail lady, you don't see me trying to kill her.
You: You used to before you let yourself go on pie
Stranger: I'll work out for you.
You: Things are going to have to change if you want things to work between us Ted.
You: I mean John.
Stranger: TED?
Stranger: HES DEAD.
Stranger: I DONT CARE IF HES MY BROTHER.
You: It was only one John! Stop it your're scaring me!
Stranger: I'm going to have to try real hard not to smack you when I get home.
Stranger: I should stop at Applebee's on the way home and get a drink.
You: Oh great now you are threating me again, hows it going to look when I walk into the office with another black eye.
You: Thats is John, go hide behind your pie and vodka again, eat and drink your problems away, you coward!
Stranger: You made me this way.
Stranger: It's all your fault.
Stranger: And when I kill Ted it will be your fault too.
You: All I wanted was a kid, John.
Stranger: I can't fucking help it that the adoption agencies won't give us one because of your body odor and terrible housekeeping skills.
You: You know what, I'm sick of Ted ruining thing between us. lets take him out.. together.
Stranger: Get my shotgun under the bed.
Stranger: We'll meet outside his place.
You: So the truth comes out.. you think I stink and apparnetly I am not a good enough house keeper for you. Forget what I just said, I am going to Ted, Fuck you John.
You: He'll protect me and treat me right.
Stranger: If you leave me I'll kill the both of you. I swear.
Stranger: Let's see him protect you then.
You: Why can't you let me be happy for once, John?
You: Everything has to be about fighting for you, hell I am surprised Antonio Banderas is still living.
Stranger: I cant help it that I'm jealous and want you to love me and only me.
Stranger: Instead youre off fucking my brother.
You: What about Stacy!?
You: Why I am the only one guilty here!
Stranger: you made me fuck stacy.
Stranger: its your fault
You: Yea? Well if it makes your cheating ass feel any better, I'd take Stacy over you any day.
You: Maybe she'd actually go down on me.
Stranger: I cant suck your cock without gagging.
Stranger: you smell awful and wont trim your pubes.
Stranger: Wash much?
You: Maybe if i had a reason to, someone that cared about me and didnt just come home to turn on the TV and ignore me. After I slaved all day cleaning. I stink because I am busying making the house clean for you, you ungreatful son of a bitch! You're just that that filthy slut mother of yours, fucking anything that will open their legs!
Stranger: If that's how you really feel, then leave.
You: John.. don't say that
You: I didn't mean it..
Stranger: Yes you did. Asshole.
You: Are you happy, you made me cry again, this time it wasn't from your fist.
Stranger: you should have been crying all along.
Stranger: This should be important to you.
You: So now you're suggesting that I don't care about our relationship? I haven't left for 10 years! I have taken 10 years of your abuse, but no more, John!
Stranger: GOOD. I'm glad.
You: You can take your sugar free pie and shove it up your fat ass!
You: IM LEAVING!
Stranger: GO.
Stranger: See if I care.
You: But not before I have a quick go with my Antonio Banderas pictures!
Stranger: Can we break character yet?
You: LOL yea
Stranger: Who are you really?
Stranger: penis or vagina? age?
You: penis lol
You: 19
Stranger: i have a vagina and im 23
You: havent laughed that much in awhile! if you wouldnt have stopped it, it might not have never ended
Stranger: Yeah it was going on for quite a while.
You: nice talkin to ya stranger :D
Stranger: :)
































































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